Ya'll......

You are not going to believe this!!! I have been on the phone with Dell Support for almost an hour trying to figure out what happened to my computer!!! As soon as I uploaded that last post with all the pics from San Antonio my computer went black...Honestly when I saw it, I thought that my hard drive had crashed!! I didn't really expect for that San Antonio post to have made it!! I was able to get some one on the phone to help me and we got it back up!! Praise the Lord!!! I sat here and cried and cried because I have soooo many pictures on this lil' ol' laptop!! From London and Scotland, Prince Edward Island, tons of the kids I used to Nanny and all the pics from San Antonio...I was soo sure that I had lost them all!! I just started praying, Please Lord, No!!
And He totally answered!! I have everything!! I am still on the phone taking care of some final stuff with Dell!

All I have to say is Praise the Lord!!!

Ah-ha San Antone!!!

I have been inspired to take up blogging again...I met so many wonderful ladies whose blogs I have read for a long time and they have kids and families and yet they still write in their blogs regularly!! And I, who have no kids, a fairly easy job, and alot of freetime, can't even right in mine more than once a month!! And so these women who lead crazy, happy, kid filled lives, have inspired me to try again! Here are some pictures from this past weekend...

Lindsee and Abby

Lindsee, Abby, and Me







Me and Patty






Georgia and me



Stephanie and me

Me and Kim

Lisa, Fran, Stephanie, Georgia, Ms Bev, Abby, Lindsee, Me and Jenny

After hangin out with all these ladies in San Antonio at the Siesta Fiesta, I feel like making a lot of changes...

Im going to attempt to write more...Whether its about my daily life, my time with all the kids I keep, my crazy road trips, or about the things that the Lord is teaching me....

I want to continue to learn to lean on Jesus more, to trust Him more...I want to continue to learn things about stories and scriptures that I have read my whole life and it feel like its the first time I have ever read them.

So here we are at the starting line again...Im ready to do this!!!

The latest and greatest....

So its been a while...thought I would drop a little note in the ol' blog. Just a lil' somethin' to kinda keep it up to date.

First of all, the Job.
Its going great! I actually am enjoying insurance. Well I guess I should say that I'm not really doing insurance, I work for an insurance company but the only part that I do with insurance is look up claim numbers. But I am enjoying the work. Its not hard nor is it boring. Its not something I want to do for the rest of my life but its a good job for deciding what you want to do next. I am enjoying being unstressed. I don't care who you ask, any job in retail is stressful. Whether you are the lowly store associate or in a management position, its stressful!! It can wear a girl out dealing with the public!! And I'm a people person!! But this job isn't stressful! Not saying its easy but no where near the stress of retail. And for once I'm not constantly worried about finances. Am I set for life? No but not having to worry about every little penny is so nice!
The people that I am working with are nice. Its a different situation for me, not being in Christian environment. Yes alot of them do go to church but at the same time alot don't. I hear them talking about getting wasted and drinking away the weekends. Ive heard more swearing since I started this job than I have ever heard. But overall, I'm working with some great people. Making new friends and learning how to stand up for myself and what I believe.

The family.
Well for the most part I would have to say that things in the family are going pretty well. An unforeseen bonus of my job is that I am getting to email and chat with my sister almost daily. She and I have been passing emails and phoning more often since I got this job. Things aren't perfect but they never will be. I have finally just realized that I can't make our relationship work, or even make a relationship with someone who doesn't want one. So as sad as it sounds, by lowering my expectations of how things should be between my sister and I, things have actually improved. I don't expect that we will ever be the very best of friends. I hope for that but I am counting anything less than that a failure. So things are better there.

The Rest.
Well I am still struggling with bible study and church. I am doing better about going to Kairos and now that my church has added a Sunday evening service I am attending church more regularly. I still miss choir and hope to get back involved with it. I am still trying to find a good fit for bible study as well. I am enjoying listening to my girl Beth Moore online and reading the blog, and I have been catching up on a lot of extra reading as well. Both fiction and non-fiction. I hadn't realized how much Id been missing reading.

So there you have it. My life for the past few months in a few short paragraphs. Kinda sad really. Soo much has been going on and my life has been sooo busy you would think that I could write a whole book on all that's been going on. I guess to sum it all up, things are good and I'm happy. I'm praying and I have my girls praying about some decisions that I'm hoping to make soon. About the future and other things. I'm trying to take it day by day and trust in the Lord. For direction and a listening heart and mind.
I will update soon. Hopefully. :-)

Up and down on a windy day....

My emotions have been up and down all day, like a leaf on the wild and crazy wind that's been blowing all day. I mean, there is actually a wind advisory until like midnight. As I am typing this there are branches hitting the side of my apt so hard that I would think the siding was coming off!! Apparently we are getting some really bad storms later tonight. Possible tornadoes and the like. I don't really think that we will but who knows... I had dinner with my friend Abby tonight and while we were setting there, a lady came in to talk to a couple who obviously knew her. She was crying from the moment she hit the door until she left. Abby and I both were like, we need to give her a hug and we didn't even know what her story was. She was just upset and hurting. Abby wanted to go by her a cookie but you never know how people will take things like that. We tried to carry on a conversation with out listening in but still its hard when you see some one crying to not look and wonder. It just kinda showed how you never know what some one is going through. One place of business can have soo many different stories going on in it with all the people there. A group of ladies meeting and having a great time, students studying with their books and laptops all over the tables, a couple of friends catching up on the latest, a counseling/accountability meeting, and the list could go on and on. Every person here on this planet has a different story, different drama that is going on in their lives. I often say that my life is such a soap opera. I have so many things, crazy things, going on in my life. With my job, my friends, my work and roommates. I sometimes feel like when people ask how things are I need to reply with do you want the quick recap or a play by play? Either way it's probably going to more than they want to know. But one thing that has been repeatedly shown to me lately, in many ways, is that God cares. And He wants the play by play, He already knows it, but He wants us to tell Him again. I have often thought that, like Shrek says, "Better out than in", telling what is going on in our lives, how we feel about things, can help us get through life. We tend to hold everything inside, unless its really great news and then we feel its okay to share with others, but the things that we need to share, need help with, we don't share. Why is that? We won't allow ourselves to think about it because it brings us down. We won't share with others because its private, possibly embarrassing and we don't want to bring them down or have them think bad of us. So what do we do? We push it down and act like it never happened. How healthy is that?! I am not trying to say that we should share every single up and down with every single person we know but I am saying that too often in today's society and more so in today's church, we won't allow our self to let go and share with others. Why? Because we fear the condemnation and judgment that the world is so quick to dish out. Even in the church, perhaps more so in the church. There is some sort of stigma in the mind of the church today, that says you have to be perfect or at least not admit to any problems. I have watched a video that Chonda Pierce recently put out and in it she talks about how in the church today we tend to brush over people's hurts. We just say, pray about it and then let go of it. Or let's sing another verse, give you a little more time to fix whatever it is, and then move on. There are issues going on in the world and church today that can not be fixed in another verse. There is some thing of a serious lack of compassion and mercy in the church today. Why else would a church member feel like it wasn't okay to share her/his problem with another Christian? We are constantly trying to fit the role that the world has of us. That we are perfect or that you have to be perfect to be a Christian? There is an old song, I can't even remember who sang it but it was called "Don't Hide the Scars" You never know what will come of sharing a trying time in your life with some one. What you went through and how you handled it could help someone going through the same thing. I am a firm believer in everything that comes your way is a learning experience. Once you learn a lesson, why would you not share what you learned with another? The Lord can use any situation. He may place a person in your life that is at the beginning of a situation that you just came out of. You could save that person a lot of pain by sharing what came of your situation. You never know.
Okay this is really long and I didn't mean for it to be. I have just really been thinking about this a lot lately. I am soo glad that God is big enough to handle all that goes on the world. He is a Hands on God, an On Time God and He cares! He wants to be apart of our lives. He wants the play by play. We just need to share it with him.

I can't believe it's been a month....

I feel like I just started my new job at Travelers. Yet, here I am, over a month later! And I love the job. Its not too easy that I am bored but yet its not too hard that I feel frustrated and don't want to get up in the morning to go to work. Ive met a lot of really great people. They have helped me with my training and learning the ropes. I have been encouraged to look towards the future and make plans for advancing if I so choose. And I feel that the best part of it all is that I am getting closer to the Lord. Yes! In a place that is so decidedly not Christian, I find myself being drawn closer. I feel as if he is wooing me. I am able to listen to MY cds. Choir music and hymns. Music that most other people don't really appreciate. I am able to listen to my most favorite lady, Beth Moore. I actually have a small bible and notebook at my desk for when I listen to her online. I am loving being able to go back through all the archives of shows from where she is on LifeToday. I have turned my best friend on to it as well and she listens at her work. I will call her and she will be like, "did you hear what she said? I needed that!" I am loving it!!! I find my self dealing with a lot of issues that first, I didn't even realize were there, and secondly, starting to let go. Let go of some what I had planned for my life, learning to let go of the fear that I feel in letting go. I never realized that I was something of a control freak. But maybe I am. I know that there is still alot that I am going to have to work through but for the first time in my life, I am okay with that thought. I don't really have a lot of time right now, but I just had to share some of what has been going on in my life. I am soo blessed and I am just now finding out how much I have taken for granted.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya.....

Thank goodness its only a day away!! I don't think I could stand it any longer. I am so ready for my first day to be over. Is that the best attitude? I don't know...its not that Im dreading it, its more along the lines of Im not sure what to expect. I have no clue how this is going to go. Ive never done a job like this and so I don't know if Im going to love it or hate, be awesome at it or totally stink it up. But I was reading in Sarah Young's book "Jesus Calling", for today, that we shouldn't reisist change. "When you cling to old ways and sameness, you resist My work within you. I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone." How big is that? I mean do we ever stop and think about how when we reisist any changes that come our way, we are resisting what plan that God has for us? I certainly never have. I never stopped to think that I was messing with Gods plan when I would dig my heels into the ground, trying to not change my ways.
For the most part, I hate change. Unless its a big change. I know it doesn't make sense but its true. When I moved here 5 yrs ago, I loved starting a new life. I loved getting to meet new people and create a life for myself here. But a change that is more mental or only a little change physically, is a lot harder for me. I think its because so much of my life will stay the same. When you make a big move, everything will change. Just changing jobs or moving in the same town, only parts of your life will change. You will still see the same people, go to the same stores and churches, do most of the same things, where as a big move, you have to go find the people, the stores and church. That alone will keep you busy and moving for a good while, until one day you stop and realize, hey! I have a life here.
So one of my main goals in starting my new job tomorrow is that it will be a small change that will impact my life in a big way. I am determined to trust God in this. Not to set my own agenda for this job or any new relationships that come of it. I am seeing this change as a next step in my becoming a new creation in Christ. I don't want to allow my fear of change to resist what God is doing and going to do in my life.

Lord, please give me the strength to trust you, allow you to do what you know is best, and to see all the things you have planned for me. I love you, Lord! Amen

Whats that on the horizen? Oh its change. Again!

Yep! Change has found me yet again. I put in my 2 weeks notice today. I have been the assistant manager at the Lifeway store in Franklin for a little over a year and today I resigned. Well, I have to say that I loved my job as manager but in all honesty, at my age, Im a little tired of retail. Even Christian retail. I love the customer interaction but really dislike the politics and pettiness of retail. And the hours. For the past year I have been working 2 jobs and having no life. When I took the job, I took a huge paycut as well. I tried to tell myself that it would be alright because I was getting benefits. But as a person who never gets sick, having insurance doesn't really help pay the bills. I know, I know! I have to have insurance, but its hard to believe that when you are having a hard time making it. So I have been praying asking the Lord for another job. I was kinda specific. I don't have a degree so I was kinda limited in what I could find. Or so I thought. I also hoped to find a job in my area of town. My part of town is a really expensive area. But I love it. I have been here since I moved 5 yrs ago. I have lived in several different areas and have always had roomates. So finding a job that would allow me to continue to live here and make it was important. One of my last days at my second job, local Hallmark store, my friend Danielle told me about her job and that they were hiring. She told me all the details and told me how to apply. I was like ok. I was a little bit in shock! God really likes to blow our socks off whenever he can, doesn't he? The job was 10,000 more a year than I was making, they didn't require any experience or a degree, and if there weren't some large tress in front of my apartment you could see the office building. And the hours are awesome!! I can have a life again!! And not HAVE to work 2 jobs!! Isn't God amazing?! It was everything I had said that I wanted. I start on the 18th. Im a little nervous because its something Ive never done before. But Im so looking forward to it. The hardest part of it all was going to be telling my current boss that I was leaving. Well I did that today. I think it went ok. We'll see when I get there in the morning and he's had more time to think about everything.
Overall Id have to say that Im tired. Its been a crazy CRAZY week. My boss was gone on a cruise, one of the keyholders was out with Strepp, power problems, leaks, wind storms and so many other things happened at work. Not to mention the job call on Tues and the official offer on Wednesday. Plus the latest episode of the show called, my crazy family, happend on Sat. (That is a story for another day!)
I am glad to start another week! I have Beth's Stepping Up in the morning with all my girls! Lunch with them as well!
And I still haven't written about my concert that I went to a couple of weeks ago! I got to see Reba and Kelly Clarkson!! Totally awesome!!
Okay, I need to go! I have tons to do and don't really have time to write about all thats happened lately! I will try to soon!!
Just hear this....God totally provides!!!